| Whatever |
[May. 22nd, 2006|02:47 am] |
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I don't think I wanna live old. Turning 32 next July and hating it. Looking back at the last 10 years it was such a waste of time. Like, "met" this girl on the Internet from Washington DC. And I wanna go there. And I wanna hug her. And I wanna feel close to her. Because after all, that's everything that matters. I don't picture myself as an old man. Like ol' Bob Dylan sang: "I think I just had enough". So, one last trip to make me feel good and that's it. I'm giving up. |
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| Just a waste of time... |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|11:13 pm] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| |  cynical | ] |
Well, I haven't been really productive these last weeks. Went to computer training to find a better job but for what ?
When I was a kid, my mother would tell me:"Get the money first, then you'll get the women". That's a strange thing to hear for a 7 years old. But the older I get, the more I discover she was right.
I've been so stupid, writing poetry, trying to understand, be nice and what did I get for that ? Betrayal and despise.
You women, are the worst thing on earth that was ever made. You pretend you like poetry, romantism and all that crap and in the end you just wait for a big paycheck. And after that you tell men they're assholes.
Some of them are. Some of them who have understood much quicker than me. Women like love. In books. End of story.
Or only when they're young enough. After that they only try to use you. |
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| Maybe... |
[May. 20th, 2005|02:46 am] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| |  depressed | ] |
Maybe I should have stayed with Marianne, even if unhappy with her. I can't help wondering these days. I miss her.
Maybe she was right from the very beginning and I was too stupid to see it. I wanted to go live in England, maybe meet an Englishwoman there. That was my fantasy. Now I'm stranded as never.
That girl at the local Irish pub was giving me eyes. I talked to her for the first time today. She's from New Zealand and came to Paris to follow her French boyfriend. So much for romance...
Yesterday she had a big bag and was hugging all the barmen and barmaids at the pub so I thought it was already her last day. Too bad, I'd just noticed her. But here she was today and we talked a little. I did a bit of translation for her as she can't understand French really good. Once more, an English speaking girl was amazed with my English. Couldn't tell where I was from.
That English thing will be the end of me if it hasn't already been.
I'm so much fascinated by it. An English speaking girl will look so much more attractive to me than a French girl. I don't look at them anymore. I expect the same shit I've been through.
But who am I kidding ? I'm gonna turn 31 next month. It would be time to get serious. Not trying to chat up 20 sth English speaking girls who are rare in Paris.
Or would the solution be like an American female friend of mine told me to move to the UK ? I'd like it so much. Paris's boring me to death.
But I'm French for the better and the worst.
I tried Anna and it wasn't much of a success.
So maybe now I can die "happy". I've tried it once. |
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| No |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|01:01 pm] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| | exhausted | ] |
No to the European Constitution, no to France, no to all the things I was submitted to for all these years.
They're going to try me now. I'm seeing my lawyer Friday. The day after receiving the email Marianne went to the police. I spent 30 hours in jail, 24 hours alone in a 36 sq meters cell, couldn't sleep. Then they stripped searched me 4 times.
Yann my "best" friend (LOL !!!) told me she had no idea it would go so far. But I know the girl. Once again she did what her parents told her to do and I have lots of trouble to believe that a former head of a police station, then a governor doesn't know shit about the french law.
Gonna see my lawyer next friday and I'll ask her to try to negociate with her lawyer. I guess she already had one.
I always knew things would turn out ugly with her. Only I didn't want a wedding ring of worse a kid to be trapped in the middle of this mess. |
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| Last entry |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|01:57 am] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| | Disgusted by the human race | ] |
People, this will be the last entry in this journal. People I trusted read it and used some infomation in it against me. I have no choice but to close it. |
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| RE-VEN-GE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|01:35 am] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| | pissed off | ] |
Revenge is a dish you eat cold, they say. And I have plenty of time. You'll die before me, bitch, I promise you.
Sadly enough I don't feel so good about that...
How to make you suffer what you made me suffer ?
A bullet in your head would be too quick and to lenient and I wanna feel your dirty blood flow on me. Drink it. And throw it up at your face...
Seems like you've got a new friend, darling... |
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| Another email to Marianne. Called "By the way" |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|01:31 am] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| | pissed off | ] |
I'm sorry about the accident that happened to Sam (that bitch's new boyfriend) when he was young... I mean it...
No really ? Is it is real face ? Was he born like that ? HAHA !!!!
So, let us try to sum up. He's ugly. That's obvious. He's stupid (that is what you told me) and he's the most boring man on earth (Rich told me).
Get some kids with that CRAP. I still have a bullet or rather two my dearest bitch, and you will feel them go through your head, trust me, bitch !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| "Message in a bottle..." |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|01:22 am] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| | pissed off | ] |
So I sent another email to that Marianne bitch after meeting her at Yann's party. Here's how it goes:
"
I appeciated a lot to see you again the other day. Never would have thought that anybody could digust me that much. I checked it on the spot.
I lost it all. I'm a loser. And I do imagine it makes you come...
Know one thing, bitch, if ever I gonna shoot myself, the first bullet will be for you...
What am I saying, the "first" ? I wanna see you suffer and beg for your life as the dirtiest bitch you are. "Deserve better" is such a big word.
You made me turn down the US then London...
Maybe that before the end of that year I gonna shoot myself to "forget". But the first bullets will be for you.
I wanna see your blood flow in front of my eyes, begging for mercy, I wanna see you die like the SHIT you are. You ruined my life, bitch !!!
I had two fantastic occasions to realize what I'd ever been dreaming down and because of you, I fucked them up...
Choose your favorite place for the first bullet I gonn shoot through your dirtiest skull...
Killing myself after that doesn't matter to me. I want REVENGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| ACHIEVEMENT !!!! |
[Mar. 16th, 2005|03:50 pm] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current beat |
| | Oasis unplugged on MTV | ] |
Well, I've been working for years on that and finally I succeeded.
Last Monday, I attended the monthly poetry reading at the local pub as usual and met some Canadians there. We started talking and I asked them where they were from. "Canada" they answered confidently. "And you, England ?". I couldn't believe my ears ! Gosh, they were mistaking me for an Englishman ! Meant my English and my accent were good enough for them to be confused ! Holy shit, like Matt from Indiana would say ! |
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| "Do or do not. There is not try" Yoda to Luke in Starwars |
[Mar. 10th, 2005|01:54 pm] |
| [ | How are we feeling today ? |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | Current beat |
| | Limp Bizkit: "Mission impossible" | ] |
So far what I've done with my life is TRY. Even told that to Anna at the decisive moment.
She asked me what it was to be a loser. I answered her: "Not to try, Anna, not to try".
I went into a big argument yesterday with Renae from Minnesota.
Everything started about smoking.
There are NO non smoking cafés in Paris. None. "When you go to Rome, do like the Romans" they say. Some American people here in Paris seem to fail to understand that simple truth.
When I'm in a foreign country, I act according to the customs of that country. Even make a point of speaking the country's language while I'm there. In the US or in the UK as on the Internet, I speak English. In Italy, I speak Italian. I don't complain in restaurants in Rome because you have to pay to get a fork and a knife. I'm in Italy. If I'd rather be in France, I would have stayed in France.
She made a scandal in the café because people were smoking in it and she pretends she's allergic. Like Rashida's worried about the corn we have here because it may "not be as good as in the US".
American people, I'll give you the best piece of advice. If you wanna things to be just like in the US, STAY in the US. Don't go to a foreign country. Because some things are bound to be a little bit different there. And once you've made the decision to come, you have no right to complain. Unless what you're looking for is to complain. Then come, complain, but spare my ears.
But that was only the start. In order to try to "justify" myself, I told her there was far worse than smoke for health. The US government experimented the effects of nuclear radiations on civilians in 1950 without their knowing the danger. It's a well known fact but she denied it.
Once home, I looked on the Internet and in a split second I found that website:*
http://www.eh.doe.gov/ohre/roadmap/achre/chap10_1.html
Notice, the address is a '.gov' which means it's a website ran by the US government. And I texted her the address.
STILL, she kept denying it was a real US government website BECAUSE the address didn't end with '.gov' but there were these weird '/' things in it.
As you're reading these lines you may notice there's also a '/' in the address after www.livejournal.com. Obviously, you're no more on LiveJournal's website but on a website ran by cannbibal aliens trying to take on the earth...
Einstein once said:
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. I'm not so sure about the universe".
End of story. |
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